Restful Insomnia

I woke up angry but not at anything. Just that deeply irritating body anger, like irritation in a traffic jam waiting for someone to try and cut me off, damn it.

At first I ignored the feeling and tried to go back to sleep. I used all my current RI tricks of darkness, counting breaths, rolling my eyes down. But a few minutes later, I was paddling in a cesspool of thoughts, to-dos, and internal demands.

My thoughts were not so much about getting something done as the energy of anger, just diverted to thinking.

Anger woke me. Damn it.

What was I angry about? Nothing. Nothing current. It’s the energy I carry around from childhood, from controlling, from stress. Something’s shifting in my life and I can see my anger more clearly. Damn it.

What to do with the anger? I was too tired to write, pound pillows, or anything other than rest or sleep.

I ended up doing some TAT–www.tatlife.com—but I was too tired to even put one hand on my forehead and the other on the nape of my neck. So I imagined I was doing it and exaggerated the sensations in my body—my jaw wired shut, jutting head, queasiness, sadness. I had to come back to the sensations because it was easier to do a self-blame game. But I did. The energy dissipated… enough to rest and even sleep after a while. Amen.

I had insomnia last night. I woke with a brain full of worries and sadness and lists and tension. I added the stress of no sleep to my list of woes.

I knew all the Restful Insomnia(TM) techniques–I developed them. Didn’t matter. I was so tense, and sleep seemed so far away, I couldn’t connect with trust that I could change my wakeful suffering. No, I would worry my way to happiness. Not the most successful plan, but well practiced.

Just try, it can’t hurt, I said to myself.  So I put on my eye mask, turned on the sound machine, focused on my body, and reminded myself that my thoughts were a story I was creating.

Insomnia without suffering. Okay, I can do this. Insomnia that drifted into sleep.

Glad I remembered.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

I love to meditate. It took me only 30 years to get here.

I started with TM (Transcendental Meditation) in… Cleveland, dating Andy, probably 1974. After the instruction, I was high as a kite, happy for the first time at my work, ready for a lifetime of joy. Then life returned–so disappointing. I kept meditating hoping that joy would return. 

I often fell asleep when I meditated, though I had occassional moments of beyond this. Once, I was driving to State College while Andy drove my blue Dodge Duster; I remember the darkness, the road, the body sensation of spaciousness. I don’t remember the content, just the sensation of more.

TM faded–I slept more than meditated. Over the decades I tried meditation classes, reading, during yoga. I say tried because I thought there was a place to get to…transcending my thoughts… and I never did. 

Still, there was something that kept me going.

I found myself meditating during Restful Insomnia. Lying in bed, returning to the breath. It lessened the Conscious Mind and I was proud of myself (see, I’m a good person, I meditate!). Then Ragini suggested I could get more connection to the spiritual and my mind by sitting up. I rousted myself vertical during insomnia, meditated, and returned to sleep.

Then I found the pleasure in meditation during the day.

Meditation has so many aspects. The body: lowers blood pressure, relaxes, deepens breath. The emotional: opens to the stories–true or not–behind the anger or fear. The spiritual: connects to the reality beyond the thoughts. The mind: trains focus and attention.

Researching for Brain Boosters, I read John Ratey’s A User’s Guide to the Brain. He says that movement is the essence of thought. That’s a whole ‘nother entry. Still, it got me thinking about paradox. Doesn’t stillness–meditation–enhance movement?

So now I practice being still. It’s not trying. I’m coming back, learning again and again that there’s stillness between the throughts, that there’s my breath, that there’s here and now. Always changing, here and now, but not moving. 

Even when I “don’t wanna” sit, there’s always soft pleasure when I do.

In fact, I’ll go breathe right now.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

How do you release insomnia tension? Restful Insomnia’s five-step plan shows how each technique addresses natural nighttime renewal:

1. Soothe Your Night Environment: When you create a soothing environment of dusk and darkness, your body lets go. Since electricity and electronics stimulate us night and day, we use Evening Rituals and Night Nest techniques to relax the body and increase the natural production of melatonin.
2. Befriend the Body: Allow your Unconscious Mind to emerge by getting into your body (instead of thinking about it). Restful Insomnia teaches how to release tension with Night Yoga and lessen the impact of physical difficulties.
3. Diminish the Thinking Mind: Our minds can make us ecstatic—or miserable. You can release the hold of your mind at night with Restful Insomnia techniques such as inquiry, cognitive behavior changes, intuition, and body sensations.
4. Release the Hold of Emotions: Emotions are linked to our thoughts in a circular fashion—a belief can trigger an emotional response, and an emotional response can reinstate a belief. Too much feeling and thinking when we’re trying to rest! Reduce the intensity of emotional distress using Energy Medicine, Tapping Techniques, and Wisdom Writing.
5. Tap into the Natural or Spiritual Self: What’s left when you diminish the emotions, thinking mind, and your bodily activity? Sleep of course, and also a connection with the larger perspective on life, the balance of nature  and/or a spiritual dimension. Restful Insomnia helps you find a spiritual center—which helps you diminish the hold of the Conscious Mind.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

Last night, I woke up at 3 a.m. thinking. Not unusual.

I put on my nightshades and rolled over. That usually sends me to rest. This time, I kept thinking: the dirty laundry, applications, money. No matter what I did, my thoughts haunted me.

Many of you read my article on the Gotta-Do mind. (It’s in my f ree e-book for those who sign up for my newsletter). But last night I was being chased by the gotta dos.

After two restless hours, I thought I might as well just get up and DO, even though Iwas exhausted. Then I remembered a deeper level of Restful Insomnia. Not the environment (nightshades), not the mind. I looked at the sensations of my body. Sadness in the chest, lots of exhales.

Aha. The Gotta-Dos were chasing me because I wanted them to. Part of me did. That part wanted to avoid the grief at losing my best friend. That’s why the lists were never-ending.

I needed to be sad.

I did some TAT in bed. I didn’t cry, but felt the energy of loss in my body. It was a comfort just to feel it rather than run away. And yes, the comfort led me quickly to sleep.

You can look underneath your habits to find the real you at night. Once you find it, you can embrace it, and embrace rest and sleep.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

When I’m dying, let me be. Don’t tell me that:

• I should ”let go.”
• I’m holding on because something’s unresolved.
• I’m full of angelic energy but I’m unwilling to embrace it.

Those messages have good intentions, but they’re not messages for the dying. They’re comfort for the living. They all say, Die already, darling. It’s too hard to wait here while you are unconscious.

Being halfway dead is the body’s process–the lovely body that provided breath, digestion, taste, sex, a walk in the park, birth, work, art. The lovely body will lead to death when it’s time. In my friend Diane’s time, too. I’m grateful for knowing her in her body. I’ll miss her body when it’s gone.

What does this have to do with insomnia? The body helps release the tension of the thoughts. Thoughts that tell you that

• You should let go.
• You’re holding on because something’s unresolved.
• You’re full of sleep energy but unwilling to embrace it.

Those thoughts have good intentions, but they’re not messages for sleeping. Your conscious mind is telling you what to do. And your conscious mind doesn’t open the door to sleep, no matter how smart it is.

It’s your lovely body that provides sleep. Focus on the sensations, the images of sensations, the sounds of the night and your breath. Your lovely body gives you rest, and will give you sleep.

Enjoy the night,
Sondra

Eye rolls have a bad rep–especially when a teen reacts to a parent with leave me alone eyes. However, you can roll your eyes for the power of good: your relaxation!

When your eyes are closed, you can let your eyes soften and relax. Then your body slows and your unconscious mind guides you into deeper renewal.

You probably know that as you sleep, your eyes move. In a later stage of sleep comes REM–Rapid Eye Movement. Then your eyes bounce around under the lids, dreaming about monsters riding bikes or other odd imaginings.

Your eyes also move when you’re getting ready to sleep or have insomnia. Not the rapid movement of REM, but small movements beneath closed lids. They move around as you remember things to-do, imagine talking to your boss, or wonder if you should get up. When your eyes are closed, you’re getting some rest and helping your body pump some melatonin.

You can use your eyes to relax more deeply.

All you have to do is to roll your eyes to the “back”–though you’re actually rolling them up or down. That changes the eye patterns from a waking (working/worry) direction to the pattern of sleep or deep rest. In fact, many meditators suggest rolling the eyes to deepen the inward experience.

When I want to change my thinking mind with my eyes closed, I roll my eyes down. That connects me to my unconscious mind and soothes my body. When you sleep, your eyes naturally roll up and back.

It’s worth to try both downward and upwared rolls.

First just close your eyes, and notice how your mind and body feel. Then roll your eyes down. Notice your breathing and sense of relaxation. Then roll your eyes up and notice your breathing and body again.

When I do the eye rolls, my breathing is a little slower, and my arms feel more relaxed. There’s a subtle change in each eye-roll state.

The odd thing is that when my eyes are rolled back, my mind’s eye still thinks that I’m looking straight ahead. When I open my eyes, there’s a clear difference. If my eyes are straight ahead with eyes closed, I can focus quickly when I open my lids. If my eyes are rolled, there’s a blur as I regain my vision.

Some of my clients find a noticeable change in their whole body when they roll their eyes. Others play with it for a while before they notice how the eye rolls can transform them. A few can’t notice much difference.

What power do eye rolls have for you? You’ll find yourself changing your mind and body without doing much at all.

I’ve found the binary bread crumbs back to my blog. I had to geek into unknown territory for several hours to find my user name, since my automatic sign-on had quit. I remembered why I don’t use automated phone numbers–because I don’t want to forget how to call with my fingers. Now I know my user name (and no, I won’t tell you).

Meanwhile, my nights were filled with thoughts about sleeping and insomnia. I’m clearly insomniated (some word) by my mind. But others, like my husband who denies he has Periodic Limb Movement Disorder, is driven awake my his jumpy body. Right now, I think that those whose bodies keep them awake–through snoring/apnea, PLMD, Restless Leg Syndrome and more–would do best to check with a doctor. Even husbands who don’t listen to their wives. For those who have active minds, Restless Insomnia can calm your nights…

…and sometimes it can’t calm you. I spent most of last night crying because my closest friend has a tumor with no medical remedy. I needed to cry more than to sleep. All I could do was go with it, and discover lessons on the way. Even if I’d rather not.

Sondra

Even when my brain is going mumble-mumble in the middle of the night, darkness helps.

What? It’s already dark.

Yes, the curtains are closed, though I can see the dim street lights through them (city life). In the middle of the night, my pupils are in their night mode, so I can see more than when I went to bed.

A trick that helps most nights is to put on my eye-mask. It’s a Bucky’s eye mask, not the little ones you get at the pharmacy. The Bucky’s mask is made from fleece, with a foam roll right at the nose. That keeps the darkness from filtering in through the bottom. It even has a pocket at the top with ear plugs.

Funny that if it’s light in the room and I’ve put on the mask, my eyes “think” that it will still be light when I open my eyes. But when I do open them, it’s pitch black. It takes my pupils a few minutes to realize they can soften, relax, open more. Then the darkness stimulates the melatonin from my pineal gland so I can snooze or relax more.

I’m amazed at how it works.

Here’s the little sales pitch. They work so well, I sell them on my website in my Night Nest Products. Try one. It can soothe your nights.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

Sometimes I believe in prophylactic pee. That is, peeing now for less interruption later. It’s actually not a great thing to do because it trains your bladder to get antsy when it’s not full. Then you have to pee more, including at 3.30 a.m.

I don’t want to be woken in the middle of the night, so just in case, I toddle to the bathroom. Most nights that’s fine.

But remember how I had to pee and pee and pee and pee several nights ago? Turns out, it wasn’t just my prophylactic pee neurosis. It was my bladder with some unhappy bacteria jostling things up.

If you have to pee lots at night, make sure that you

• Cut back on evening alcohol
• Don’t drink tea or coffee after 8 p.m. (or earlier if that works better for you)
• Extend the strength of your bladder during the day by using kegels and going when your bladder is pretty full.
• And go see a doctor to rule out a bladder infection. Stress, sex, and sugar can all contribute. Cranberry juice and antibiotics help cure them.

It’s nice to spend the whole night in bed!

Enjoy your night,
Sondra