Restful Insomnia

We think of Gratitude as a Thank You note.

Dear Higher Power,

Thank you for the nice sunset, my car, my kids.

Signed,
Me

That’s a useful start, but we’re missing something. We’re missing the experience of being alive.

When Gratitude is a Verb, appreciation for being alive.

• Thank you for the experience of seeing the sunset.
• Thank you for the feeling of driving a nice car.
• Thank you for letting me love my kids.

It’s the difference between having and being.

Express gratitude as a verb. Brings you into the present, doesn’t it? Express gratitude tonight–it helps you let go into rest…and sleep.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

It’s easy to get into the “it’s not fair” of life. Or the “why did this happen to me?”

My latest biblio-therapy book–Everything Happens for a Reason, by psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum–changes that view. 

I’ve thought for a long time about that what we learn from what happens is the connection to our deeper selves, the larger universe, or God. Mira Kirshenbaum researched hundreds of people (herself included) who found gifts, lessons, or opportunities after bad times. She discovered they learned 10 main lessons, such as letting go of fear and radical acceptance.

It’s a comforting book, easy to read, and helps change the way I see my life choices and events.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

My dearest friend died. I have a cold. I forgot about Restful Insomnia techniques for a few long hours last night. I’m a drama queen and could complain about all that.

And…

• My sister is here from the other coast. She is supportive, loving, and a good cook.
• My niece and nephew are here, playing with my kids. Mostly loving, creative, and laughter.
• It’s the Solstice (hurray). More light, more sun, expansion.

Gratitude helps keep things in balance.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

When I’m dying, let me be. Don’t tell me that:

• I should ”let go.”
• I’m holding on because something’s unresolved.
• I’m full of angelic energy but I’m unwilling to embrace it.

Those messages have good intentions, but they’re not messages for the dying. They’re comfort for the living. They all say, Die already, darling. It’s too hard to wait here while you are unconscious.

Being halfway dead is the body’s process–the lovely body that provided breath, digestion, taste, sex, a walk in the park, birth, work, art. The lovely body will lead to death when it’s time. In my friend Diane’s time, too. I’m grateful for knowing her in her body. I’ll miss her body when it’s gone.

What does this have to do with insomnia? The body helps release the tension of the thoughts. Thoughts that tell you that

• You should let go.
• You’re holding on because something’s unresolved.
• You’re full of sleep energy but unwilling to embrace it.

Those thoughts have good intentions, but they’re not messages for sleeping. Your conscious mind is telling you what to do. And your conscious mind doesn’t open the door to sleep, no matter how smart it is.

It’s your lovely body that provides sleep. Focus on the sensations, the images of sensations, the sounds of the night and your breath. Your lovely body gives you rest, and will give you sleep.

Enjoy the night,
Sondra

I’m grateful for friends. Ones who will witness and share my life, keeping their judgments at bay.

I’m grateful for Diane, my friend of 20 years. Authentic, adventurous, grounded in who she is and her body. She listened as I kvetch about work, eating, marriage, kids. She’d share my joy at making progress or having insights at my life.

I thought that when she caught her pancreatic cancer early, she’d have it licked. Doesn’t look like it.

There’s a story about a girl who was scared at bedtime. Her mother told her that God was all around. The girl was still scared. Her mom asked why. The girl replied, “I want God with skin on.”

I want Diane with skin on. And I’m grateful that I have her as a friend at all.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

Night is a creative time… and you don’t even have to be productive to get the results. Nightly rest plants seeds of creativity in your mind/body that bloom, day and night. (Keep it dark when you jot down your nocturnal blossoms.)

Here’s one of my nightly inspirations:

It’s more difficult to have a childhood disease–physical or emotional–as an adult.

I’m sure you’ve heard how hard it is to have the Chicken Pox as an adult. That’s why they’re hoping the vaccine will prevent adults from getting it (I’m skeptical ). It’s also more difficult to make emotional or developmental changes.

If as a child you didn’t learn clear boundaries, never took responsibility for yourself, ruled the roost with tantrums… you can learn how now. It just takes longer. And it’s more challenging than if you did it at age five. To stay on track as you change your habits it takes a good therapist, support group, friend or family member. You can re-grow up. A great book for this is Growing Up Again by Jean Illsley Clarke.

I’m grateful for my community of friends and family that supports growth and change. And a l-l-l-l-o-o-o-o-n-n-n-n-g-g-g-g time with a great therapist.

Enjoy your inspirations and your nights,
Sondra

Happiness is more than just a feeling. Happiness is a state of mind, of contentment, of gratitude.

Feelings come and go (our bodies, beliefs, and intuition trigger and release feelings). However we can plant seeds for more lasting happiness… with Gratitude.

Here’s my version of a simple exercise that can empower your grateful and happy state of mind. Each night, write or think of three things that you feel grateful for during the day, and an insight as to why they made you happy. The insight helps, because you learn what satisfies your values. Here are mine for last night:

• Turkey for dinner: I cooked it for the first time in years and it tasted good.
• Sun! Colors, space, expanse, light
• Walking: Outside, movement, expanse, light
• Clean house: Neat, contained, open, expanse in rooms, organized
• Apply for writing gig: Productive, hopeful, confident
• Gratitudes: Pleasant, movement, appreciation, fun.

I clearly value expanse, light, movement, and productivity. Now I can keep my eye out for them during the day… increasing my happiness!

I will write about gratitudes each Friday (except today). Gratitudes are a simple diary that make changes, not just keep track of them. (I want to know why the word grateful isn’t spelled greatfull!)

Enjoy your nights,

Sondra www.restfulinsomnia.com