Restful Insomnia

My dearest friend died. I have a cold. I forgot about Restful Insomnia techniques for a few long hours last night. I’m a drama queen and could complain about all that.

And…

• My sister is here from the other coast. She is supportive, loving, and a good cook.
• My niece and nephew are here, playing with my kids. Mostly loving, creative, and laughter.
• It’s the Solstice (hurray). More light, more sun, expansion.

Gratitude helps keep things in balance.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

When I’m dying, let me be. Don’t tell me that:

• I should ”let go.”
• I’m holding on because something’s unresolved.
• I’m full of angelic energy but I’m unwilling to embrace it.

Those messages have good intentions, but they’re not messages for the dying. They’re comfort for the living. They all say, Die already, darling. It’s too hard to wait here while you are unconscious.

Being halfway dead is the body’s process–the lovely body that provided breath, digestion, taste, sex, a walk in the park, birth, work, art. The lovely body will lead to death when it’s time. In my friend Diane’s time, too. I’m grateful for knowing her in her body. I’ll miss her body when it’s gone.

What does this have to do with insomnia? The body helps release the tension of the thoughts. Thoughts that tell you that

• You should let go.
• You’re holding on because something’s unresolved.
• You’re full of sleep energy but unwilling to embrace it.

Those thoughts have good intentions, but they’re not messages for sleeping. Your conscious mind is telling you what to do. And your conscious mind doesn’t open the door to sleep, no matter how smart it is.

It’s your lovely body that provides sleep. Focus on the sensations, the images of sensations, the sounds of the night and your breath. Your lovely body gives you rest, and will give you sleep.

Enjoy the night,
Sondra

Eye rolls have a bad rep–especially when a teen reacts to a parent with leave me alone eyes. However, you can roll your eyes for the power of good: your relaxation!

When your eyes are closed, you can let your eyes soften and relax. Then your body slows and your unconscious mind guides you into deeper renewal.

You probably know that as you sleep, your eyes move. In a later stage of sleep comes REM–Rapid Eye Movement. Then your eyes bounce around under the lids, dreaming about monsters riding bikes or other odd imaginings.

Your eyes also move when you’re getting ready to sleep or have insomnia. Not the rapid movement of REM, but small movements beneath closed lids. They move around as you remember things to-do, imagine talking to your boss, or wonder if you should get up. When your eyes are closed, you’re getting some rest and helping your body pump some melatonin.

You can use your eyes to relax more deeply.

All you have to do is to roll your eyes to the “back”–though you’re actually rolling them up or down. That changes the eye patterns from a waking (working/worry) direction to the pattern of sleep or deep rest. In fact, many meditators suggest rolling the eyes to deepen the inward experience.

When I want to change my thinking mind with my eyes closed, I roll my eyes down. That connects me to my unconscious mind and soothes my body. When you sleep, your eyes naturally roll up and back.

It’s worth to try both downward and upwared rolls.

First just close your eyes, and notice how your mind and body feel. Then roll your eyes down. Notice your breathing and sense of relaxation. Then roll your eyes up and notice your breathing and body again.

When I do the eye rolls, my breathing is a little slower, and my arms feel more relaxed. There’s a subtle change in each eye-roll state.

The odd thing is that when my eyes are rolled back, my mind’s eye still thinks that I’m looking straight ahead. When I open my eyes, there’s a clear difference. If my eyes are straight ahead with eyes closed, I can focus quickly when I open my lids. If my eyes are rolled, there’s a blur as I regain my vision.

Some of my clients find a noticeable change in their whole body when they roll their eyes. Others play with it for a while before they notice how the eye rolls can transform them. A few can’t notice much difference.

What power do eye rolls have for you? You’ll find yourself changing your mind and body without doing much at all.

I’m grateful for friends. Ones who will witness and share my life, keeping their judgments at bay.

I’m grateful for Diane, my friend of 20 years. Authentic, adventurous, grounded in who she is and her body. She listened as I kvetch about work, eating, marriage, kids. She’d share my joy at making progress or having insights at my life.

I thought that when she caught her pancreatic cancer early, she’d have it licked. Doesn’t look like it.

There’s a story about a girl who was scared at bedtime. Her mother told her that God was all around. The girl was still scared. Her mom asked why. The girl replied, “I want God with skin on.”

I want Diane with skin on. And I’m grateful that I have her as a friend at all.

Enjoy your nights,
Sondra

Night is a creative time… and you don’t even have to be productive to get the results. Nightly rest plants seeds of creativity in your mind/body that bloom, day and night. (Keep it dark when you jot down your nocturnal blossoms.)

Here’s one of my nightly inspirations:

It’s more difficult to have a childhood disease–physical or emotional–as an adult.

I’m sure you’ve heard how hard it is to have the Chicken Pox as an adult. That’s why they’re hoping the vaccine will prevent adults from getting it (I’m skeptical ). It’s also more difficult to make emotional or developmental changes.

If as a child you didn’t learn clear boundaries, never took responsibility for yourself, ruled the roost with tantrums… you can learn how now. It just takes longer. And it’s more challenging than if you did it at age five. To stay on track as you change your habits it takes a good therapist, support group, friend or family member. You can re-grow up. A great book for this is Growing Up Again by Jean Illsley Clarke.

I’m grateful for my community of friends and family that supports growth and change. And a l-l-l-l-o-o-o-o-n-n-n-n-g-g-g-g time with a great therapist.

Enjoy your inspirations and your nights,
Sondra

I’ve found the binary bread crumbs back to my blog. I had to geek into unknown territory for several hours to find my user name, since my automatic sign-on had quit. I remembered why I don’t use automated phone numbers–because I don’t want to forget how to call with my fingers. Now I know my user name (and no, I won’t tell you).

Meanwhile, my nights were filled with thoughts about sleeping and insomnia. I’m clearly insomniated (some word) by my mind. But others, like my husband who denies he has Periodic Limb Movement Disorder, is driven awake my his jumpy body. Right now, I think that those whose bodies keep them awake–through snoring/apnea, PLMD, Restless Leg Syndrome and more–would do best to check with a doctor. Even husbands who don’t listen to their wives. For those who have active minds, Restless Insomnia can calm your nights…

…and sometimes it can’t calm you. I spent most of last night crying because my closest friend has a tumor with no medical remedy. I needed to cry more than to sleep. All I could do was go with it, and discover lessons on the way. Even if I’d rather not.

Sondra