Rest is your right as a human bean, not your reward
My whole perspective changed with this new book, how to keep house while drowning.
Cleaning, self-care, and cooking can be overwhelming, says author KC Davis… especially when we ascribe them as moral choices.
“If you have been viewing care tasks as moral, it is likely you’ll either (a) never stop moving, feel anxious and overwhelmed, and are constantly exhausted or
(b) lack motivation, feel paralyzed and overwhelmed, and are constantly exhausted. They are two sides of the same coin.”
That coin is shame, which becomes the motivator when care tasks are moral (instead of functional).
An example: Doing the laundry to have a clean shirt requires a certain amount of energy. Add to the mix whether it means you’re a good or bad person amps up the stress on your body, emotions, and presence. Easier to put on a stinky top.
It’s not just tasks, even rest can be hard when people have fused being unproductive with being lazy. Believing we’re only worthy of rest when we complete (hah) a never-ending list of care tasks, we hardly ever get there.
But when we do, even that rest is troubled: “Those who work in shame also rest in shame,” says Davis.
This is a sentiment I also hear from my new clients about their nights, who say things like rest is only good if it immediately leads to sleep.
“You do not have to earn the right to rest, connect, or recreate.”
Resting, day or night has value in and of itself. You comfort your body, shift your mind, settle into your environment, gently release emotions (and yes, it does open the door to sleep.)
Focus on what’s good for your body, mind, and heart, and step away from the sidetrack of whether it makes you a good person, a good friend, parent, spouse, and human bean.
I’m pretty certain you already are.
Meade’s Musings Podcast
This international podcast aims to raise awareness on societal issues people don’t usually talk about openly. I’m so happy get in depth about rest and sleep. Listen here.