I-Want-Itis: Getting What You Really Want

It’s the time of the year for I-Want-Itis.

That’s when your mental wish list pops up all the time: things you can buy, things someone can buy for you, things you want that are not available for any price.

It can be fun to imagine having what you want. Then again, it might feel like you HAVE to have what you want in order to be relaxed, free, and content.

Then these cravings keep you tense and stressed, especially when you want to let go at night.

I-want-itis is an epidemic this time of year, coming off the intensity of Black Friday sales.

But I’ll share a way to alleviate the constant yearnings and tap into what you really want from getting all those things —to feel relaxed, free, and content.

Do you have I-want-itis?

Do you have a wish list of this things you think that would make your life better—in little or big ways? like…

• Warm PJs
• The new Adele album 25
• Shoes you saw when shopping for your daughter
• Fancy earrings
• New sofa

Or maybe you have I-want-itis about things you can’t get in a store. You’d really like a new job, or your kids home for the holidays, someone to love, or more peace.

No matter what you crave, a mind in the desiring-mode keeps you from being right here—and able to rest—in the life you have.

The infection of desires

Several years ago, I began exploring this tornado of endless desires in my head. Stuff like. . .

• Matching towels
• Really good replacement for my yoga mat
• Hybrid car
• A new phone . . . and loads more

The items I wanted could change, but the feeling of desire stayed with me. I realized that even if I got everything on my whole list. . . I’d still want more.

It was as if I was infected with the wanting bug, so I named this virus of craving, I-want-itis. The humor helped me take the longings a little less seriously, even if it didn’t end the lust for stuff.

High intensity fever of desires—and the relief

A few nights ago, I was on a fever of high-intensity, mostly unreachable desires. Some things I wanted were beyond my budget, and some I couldn’t buy or even control, like an apology from a sibling.

My coveting meant there was not a lot of room for the rest I needed. After much time wanting and planning and hoping, an idea arose:
How would I feel if I had what I wanted? That is, what was under the craving? Would getting my desires bring me love, approval, safety, contentment, joy?

Then another idea arose.Was the only way I could get that love, approval, etc. was by having the things I wanted? Hmmmm.

Perhaps the things I craved were a pathway, one that I could take and if I imagined having them, something would shift. Maybe my body and mind would stop the eternal quest—even momentarily. Enough to move to the path of rest.

Turned out, those ideas worked and helped me rest. Here’s how you can do that, too.

Imagine what you really want

​Use your imagination to explore having what you want, and what it brings you.

Let’s say it’s the new earrings you love. Pretend you already have them in your life right now. See how lovely they are, feel how they hang perfectly, hear the compliments—because they look really great on you. You feel classy, fashionable, and professional.

Now dive deep inside

Beyond how things look or what people say, how do you feel?

• In your body – Do you exhale a little more, let go in your shoulders or gut? Feel a little more at ease and relaxed?
• In your mind – Does the endless loop of wanting – and planning how to get it – fade away? Are you more focused on the pleasure of being in this moment, instead of the future?
• In your emotions – Do you feel more accepting of yourself? Do you feel you are elegant, stylish, and capable?
• In your sense of self – Do you feel held in some way, or more aware of being loved?

As you can guess, this will help you rest. Because you’re tapping into a part that already accepts yourself right now. Right here. Even without the earrings. And if your body wants to rest, you’re opening the door.

Connecting to the peace already inside you

This imaginary sense of “having” doesn’t change the immediate physical reality. But it changes your perspective. It changes you from needing something to connecting with the peace already inside you.

That hybrid car has been on my list for a few years. And while I can’t swing it at the moment, I CAN step into that calm without spending a cent.

And you can step into the calm and caring within you as well.

Enjoy your holidays – and all their preparation. May your month be filled with love, caring, and connection with something greater than yourself.